Tales Of The Insane
by Oreata
Summary: When an overweight balloon comes to rescue them, Vincent learns to fly, and Kate only robs single people...much weirdness, be warned


Okay here is just something weird I came up with, its so weird I cant describe it….just read it…lol

"OH MY GOSH! An overweight balloon!" Kate screamed and gasped in excitement. "We're saved!"

Survivors: (cheering) YEAH!

"Oh no!" Jack screamed as he jumped up to catch the overweight balloon. "It's floating away!"

"LIFT ME UP!" Walt screamed, the survivors lift up Walt who catches overweight balloon and then cheer,

"Yeah!" at the top of their lung!

"Bye everyone! I'll see you all after the overweight balloon carries me to civilization and tell everyone where we are!" Walt screamed from where he was floating in the air

"Yup, there's something wrong with my boy." Michael said putting his hands on his hips.

"Now Michael, don't worry, we've had this conversation before, Walt as special abilities."

"I could've done it to." Sawyer mumbled under his breath.

"No you couldn't have, but if you could you would've looked better doing it." Kate pointed out the obvious.

Shannon smiled and looked up from her nail polish, "Sayid would look the best!" She said confidently.

"If it's not to bold to say, I think I agree." Sayid said smiling with a nod.

Jin looked up a scared look on his face. "Walt to my deodorant with him!" He mumbled in korean.

"Uh oh." Sun said

Survivors: "EWWWW! WHATS THAT SMELL?" All the survivors passed out. From the overweight balloon Walt grinned proudly,

"His D.O. was empty, I new that was gonna happen! OH NO! I forgot Vincent! VINCENT! VINCENT!" He screamed. At the sound of Walt's voice all the survivors woke up just in time to see Vincent grow wings and fly to Walt.

"Michael, what the heck is wrong with you? Why didn't you tell us he could've been off here months ago" Jack scolded angrily.

"Erm, uh." Michael said, and turned around to blush,

"We could've given him a note to give to the people." Kate began, "Oh my! He could've taken me away and I would be able to run again!

"Can I come with?" Sawyer asked hopefully.

"Why would you need to run?" Charlie asked curiously.

Kate eyes almost popped out of her head, "um never mind that, Jack has the guns packed up, your safe.

"OH MY GOODNESS!" Claire screamed, "YOU WORK WITH ETHAN!"

"W-what? N-No I don't!" Kate said stuttering nervously, as Shannon gasped loudly.

"So YOU'RE the one that stole my DESIGNER pure AND shoes!" Shannon screamed and slapped Kate who got mad and punched Shannon while yelling

"IT WASN'T ME I SWEAR!"

"Sorry Sweetie, it was me." Sayid apologized, Shannon smiled sweetly hypnotized but what he said.

"I wouldn't mind if she stole something of mine, I would get to follow her everywhere AND I'd have an excuse!" Sawyer squealed and started to dance, then remembered who he was and said "uh, erm, pretend that didn't happen, I'd hurt her if she did!" Then he flexed his muscles. Jack narrowed his eyes angrily,

"NO! She should rob me!" He said logically.

"I NEVER ROBBED A SINGLE PERSON BEFORE!" Kate screamed everyone to a silence.

"So, dude, they, like have to be dating?" Hurley asked curiously.

"Uhg, no! U never robbed a person who didn't work for a bank! There are always more then one person working at a bank, I never robbed a SINGLE person." She tried to explain without loosing her temper.

Survivors: gasps in shock

"So they have to be dating in banks?" Charlie asked, and was ignored by everyone "HEY HELLO I'M IN DRIVESHAFT!" Sawyer blinked then said

"Kate! I'll run with you!"

"No I will!" Jack said and attacked Sawyer. Kate pulled the two off each other,

"This can be settled easily, who has more money?"

"I do." Sawyer and Jack said at the same time. Sawyer gasped.

"You do not, I'm a con!"

"Do to, I'm a doctor."

"Do not."

"Do to!"

"DO NOT!

"DO TOO!"

"Okay children," Rose said in a soothing voice that calmed down the men automatically. "Write down how much you have on a piece of paper and Kate will choose."

"I'm going with whoever has more!" Kate stated proudly.

Other island men (except Sayid, who is making out with Shannon under a palm tree): "Can we try to run with you to?"

"sure" Kate giggled. "Write down your name and how much money you have and stick it in the hat."

"Hey that's my hat!" Claire gasped.

"I stole it." Kate said simply.

"I thought you never stole from single people! Omg it was you my shoes and purse went missing the day after Sayid and I got together." Shannon yelled from where she was making out with Sayid.

"I didn't steal it! And I'm not some sort of STALKER or anything! I don't know who works for a bank here! I had to guess!"

"Ew, a bank? I SO do NOT work for a bank of all things!" Claire wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I prefure fish and fry, smells bad, pays bad, its perfect."

"Now now love, its alright." Charlie began, "Hey you work in fish and fry? I LOVE that place, what do you say after we get off here, we go there together?" Claire nodded and giggled happily.

"Now you can't steal from me." She giggled.

"OH MY HECK! HURLEY IS THE WINNER!" Kate screamed as she read the pieces of paper that were in Claire hat, and then she passed out.

"They always do that when they find out." Hurley said proudly.

Survivors: "LOOK! It's the RESCUE boat, Vincent, Walt and the OVERWEIGHT Balloon!" Kate woke up and panicked quickly she crawled on Vincent's back,

"Hurley quick! Grab the overweight balloon!" She screamed!

"W-what? I thought this was a game…you w-want me to to come with you? YOU'RE SCARY!" Hurley screamed with a loud screamed.

"I'll go!" Sawyer said puffing up chest, he grabbed the overweight balloon and began to lift off the ground.

"NOOO!" Jack screamed and grabbed Sawyers legs.

"What the heck are you doing?" Sawyer screamed.

"She's MINE you CAN'T have her!" Jack shouted.

"Get off me man." Sawyer said in a disgusted voice and kicked Jack off him.

"NOOO" Jack screamed and dropped to his knees as he thrust his fists into the air while watching Kate and Sawyer fly away.

"Hey WAIT!" Walt called, "I want Vincent back!"

"DON'T WORRY! We'll FLY him back once we are safe!" Kate yelled from Vincent.

"Fly him to New York! Not the island!" Michael yelled

"Sure thing!" Sawyer yelled from where he was hanging on the overweight balloon.

"I wonder how long this will take." Kate wondered.

"Hey don't complain, you're not the one holding onto to string of an overweight balloon." Sawyer reminded her with a chuckle. "you, get to ride a flying dog."

Okay and END of the first of my upcoming insane thinking fics lol…hehe Let me know what you guys think!


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